wishing is okay. the do it.
what i wish my stomach looked like.
A little bit of honesty to remind myself that right now i don’t really like the truth.
I’M FAT. sometimes its just coming to that realization that really kicks you in the butt. and other times its that same realization that kicks you right into the cold chili pot to slurp up some more meat packed deliciousness.
either way, it kicks you.
for me, it did both. but the kitchen kicks have definitely been winning the kicking battle lately– but i really want to end that. I did so well at two weeks (minus one day) of being vegan! i was so proud until sunday night when i totally scammed my plan::( i really want to do it again though (being vegan), because it really brought awareness to my eating habits–i mean, i thought a lot more before i put something into my mouth, and also, it felt kind of fun; like everywhere i went i was part of this club, but i was kind of the only one who knew.
i think ill do it again.
i will.
the other thing though, is that ive been SO busy lately with classes and a university production of Fiddler On The Roof that i have NOT been finding time to fit in my swim workouts:( this has led not so much to an actual poundage gain (maybe 1lb) so much as a muscle/toned look loss. this makes me grumpy.
and i don’t like to be grumpy.
it makes me grumpy when i put my shirt on and when i sit down when I’m wearing jeans and ESPECIALLY when i remember my goals.
i feel like I’ve been trying for so long that I’m never going to actually get back to where i used to be– but NO! I CANNOT think like that!
I have to remember that I can have anything i want–that the reason i haven’t made progress so far is because i didn’t REALLY try. because if i had, then i would be somewhere different right now.
i have to take responsibility for my shtuff. and yes, i meant to spell it with an sh.
tomorrow morning i am going to workout before classes start–which means ill be swimming at 5:30 am. I didn’t trust myself enough to leave it up to me to get my bitty out the door and into the pool, so I’ll be carpooling with a friend to workout.
see? i really am “boot-camping” myself. so far anyways.
here’s my goal:
i want to have lost about 8 pounds by my birthday on December 8th; so, my goal is to lose 1 lb a week.
i think that’s reasonable– don’t you?
I can’t wait to start seeing results, but I’m also going to be patient to i don’t kick my booty towards the sugar cane instead of the lap lane.
(:
here we go! Anyone else in for some mid-month fun?
huge change!!
hello again everyone! I know i’ve been a bit absentee lately, but I’ve been extremely busy with school, a drama production, and other family business.
but i thought i should let you all know that last monday i went vegan!
i have been successful so far,
resisting french toast multiple times, cheesy pizza, and spaghetti bolognaise.
yesss!
fall is gorgeous–today i took some portrait shots with my two best friends
i can’t wait to have another successful week! i did not lose any weight from my vegan lifestyle yet, but i’m excited to see the results after another week!
have a great sunny sunday
-Decmeber
week long summary #2
I went on a hike this afternoon… it is extremely smoky out because of the wild fires:
tonight i went to a fondue party. horrible idea.
there was chocolate fondue too. horribly good idea.
I’m quite excited though, because tomorrow morning i will be getting up to do a swim workout and right afterwards i will be helping to coach a young group of swim team swimmers! It is always a joy to work with children!
So I’m going to set a few goals/challenges for the weekend:
1) write one of my three essays due this month
2) read the play Macbeth
3) don’t eat any bread or sweets
4) do 10 minutes of abs saturday and sunday
5) go to yoga on sunday
6) study for my Stats class
7) drink 8 glasses of water a day
8) write a letter to a friend (and put it in an envelope, lick the stamp, and stick it in the actual mail box)
if i meet all my goals…
any “prize” ideas?
–December
Week-long Summary
This week went fairly well. Although I definitely ate more than I did last week (therefore losing less weight), I felt better overall about my energy level. I started swimming again this week (challenging, but nice and refreshing), and am going tomorrow morning at 7 am–thats the way to kick off a weekend!
my “life-savers” this week:
–orbit wintermint gum
–fresh pink lady apples
–chobani greek yogurt (peach or raspberry)
–reading the play Oedipus Res (Sophocles)..it was for school, but it was a superb distraction from other daily woes
–my sisters jeans (a few sizes bigger than my own…)
tonight i am disappointed because i definitely over ate. I just didn’t feel like caring.
its a friday.
but i need to find other ways to let out my “footloose and fancy free” friday attitude.
here are a few ideas:
–movie night (with a pack of gum and a bottle of water) … this might not work because movies are prime snacking times!
–work on an inspiration wire (a string with inspirational pictures and quotes clothes-pinned to it
–get a little “out-of-the-building” work done
–read my “reader” on wordpress
–make a list of why i should stop biting my nails
–feed the fish
have a happy friday night!
December
what i do when i don’t want to
I am going to start a “Weigh in Wednesday” portion of my blog. Partly because it sounds good, but mostly because i usually do weigh ins on Mondays and after three days of free-for-all, I refused to step on to the scale this morning, and I refuse to tomorrow as well because Weigh in Tuesdays just does not work for me. So Wednesday it is. Wow. I just want to cry and run and poop and tear up paper after that weekend. But instead I’m going to read 10 pages of the novel I got from the library and then set my alarm 15 minutes earlier than normal to get up and do 10 minutes of abs and 100 jumping jacks before I take a shower in the morning. And hopefully that’ll be better.
